In other news, both Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift released music videos to accompany their new singles this week -- excellent raw material for Twitter fodder. Taylor Trudon was especially delighted about Taylor Swift's new "Shake It Off" music video, tweeting, "If you can't handle me at my Taylor Swift, then you don't deserve me at my best." You do you, girl.
While some were defending their love for TSwift, others were showcasing their pop queen loyalty in other ways: "And there go three more state capitals out of my brain as i memorize all the lyrics to 'Anaconda'," tweeted Megan Amram. #Respect.
For more great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Pumpkin spice lattes are so basic.
— Amy Odell (@amyodell) August 18, 2014I think the most impressive thing about cave women is all that running they did without a bra.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) August 18, 2014A toxicology report for Sarah Palin whenever she says anything.
— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 18, 2014I've wasted most of my potential sitting in Los Angeles traffic.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) August 18, 2014Staycationer: Someone who pretends being in their own home is better than taking a trip to a tropical island. (synonyms: broke, delusional)
— Gennefer Gross (@Gennefer) August 18, 2014Genuinely believe a lack of parking has kept me from achieving most of my short term goals.
— Iliza Shlesinger (@iliza) August 18, 2014I wonder if when I die they will publish my Google Docs as great unfinished works.
— Nadia Kamil (@NadiaKamil) August 18, 2014did you know it's biologically impossible for any woman to be content with the temperature in any room
— cassandra (@cassandralately) August 18, 2014I have no idea what, "Things change when you least expect them to" means. Nothing has changed and my expectations have been dead for years.
— bourgeois beth (@bourgeoisalien) August 18, 2014How much do you think it would cost to have Tim Gunn be my personal trainer who's all "oh honey, just give up and get fat already"
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) August 22, 2014We only fear what we do not understand so I guess that explains why I'm afraid of everything
— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 19, 2014Hope your kid is fooled by all the colorful, personalized supplies and doesn't realize school is the same torture chamber as last year.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) August 19, 2014Let's stop calling it catcalling. Cats do not deserve to be implicated in this obnoxious behavior.
— Mary Phillips-Sandy (@maryps) August 19, 2014i could probably name my daughter caffeine
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) August 19, 2014Optician: You're going to feel me shoot a puff of air into your eyeball.
Me: And you're going to feel me reflexively punch you in the face.
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) August 19, 2014my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, "um why is she sweating so much"
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) August 18, 2014"Be yourself" and other ways to stay single.
— Grace Reynolds (@gracehasfriends) August 17, 2014My husband and dad are building a cat tower together. There isn't a part of this I don't love.
— Sarah Millican (@SarahMillican75) August 19, 2014[At Neiman Marcus]
*looks at sales clerk*
*holds up a Prada and a Burberry briefcase*
I don't know…which one will hold more chicken nuggets?
— Sqwert (@Jennuflect) August 19, 2014I just accidentally typed "above and beyonce" in a gchat instead of "above and beyond" and i've never been so happy with a typo in my LIFE
— Jessica Samakow (@jsam1126) August 19, 2014I challenge you to fill an ice bucket with beers and give it to me and leave
— Paige (@PeachCoffin) August 18, 2014When you're a straight nerdy American teenage girl, a British accent on a guy can be a substitute for a personality
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) August 20, 2014If you can't handle me at my Taylor Swift, then you don't deserve me at my best.
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) August 19, 2014Heart: Take a chance
Brain: Be careful
Boob: This bra itches
— Aly Rhymes w/ Molly (@OhHiAlyPie) August 19, 2014I had a dream last night that I dropped a baby.
Well I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I would never hold a baby.
— Stacey Lynne (@NervousJr) August 21, 2014How much more fun would Mambo #5 be if there were like, two dudes' names in there
— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) August 21, 2014I'd like to be a proctologist just so I could whisper "back dat ass up" during all of the exams.
— The Alicianater (@leechee420) August 22, 2014And there go three more state capitals out of my brain as i memorize all the lyrics to "anaconda"
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) August 22, 2014