Throughout the history of time and space,
There's been just one species that can't be replaced.
Yes, we are talking about our hooved bros,
The billies, the bucks, the nannies and does.
Those furry, horned wonders
That get into of blunders,
The gallant buck-aneers that we love so dear.
That bovinae family's all grazing right here!
Our favorite animals have gathered en masse,
And if you don't like them, go chew on some grass.
So come on kids, let's ruminate on goats, goats and more goats, because... well, you deserve it. Okay, deep breath. Here we goat!
1. Remember the Internet fad "little goats in little sweaters?" #Neverforgoat
Bell of the bahhhhl
These kids are fashion-forward thinkers.
Forget sweaters. Bring on the hats.
Now that's a bahhhhdass goat.
2. Goats can sometimes be world-class jerks.
Don't be fooled by their angelic faces
Because it's a goat-eat-goat world. Anyone up for some goat jerky?
See, not even puppies can win the affections of a goat. Their poor little bleating hearts.
Kid vs. kid. Kid wins.
How do you stop goats from charging? Take their credit cards away. Womp womp.
Goats butt into everyone's business.
Even their own.
But don't even think about trying to argue with them.
Because you'll always lose.
3. Here are some humans dressed up as goats, screaming.
They are human... We swear...
See for yourself.
And for good measure, a chicken dressed up as a goat sounding like a chicken. Just kid-ing. It's a goat.
4. Goats On Other Things Get Our Goat
Goats on a metal sheet won an Internet gold medal.
Caprine on swine.
On a tortoise.
On a tree.
On a trampoline.
On grass. So doe-p.
On a guy doing this.
5. Goats love the performing arts.
Taylor Swift knows it.
This bleatboxing goat knows it too.
And when a goat wins an Oscar, they thank God in their acceptance speech.
Last but not least is the Internet's greatest gift to man -- The goat simulator, developed by Coffee Stain Studios. That's right, you can pre-order the game for just $9.99. And trust us, it will be worth every cent. Here is the trailer:
Now go close your creepy horizontal eyes, and dream about goats...
Kissing you.
THE END.